Dear Valued Licensee


Dear Valued Licensee,

As you have probably heard via news reports, the Life Spiral Foundation, Inc. has applied for and received patents for many of the DNA chromosome sequences that are commonly found in the DNA of homo sapiens (humans). We have also copyrighted these DNA chromosome sequences in the USA and elsewhere.

We are pleased to offer to you a special introductory discount as licensee of the intellectual property rights involved in your use of these patented and copyrighted DNA chromosome sequences. If you sign up for our monthly payment option before the 1st of October 2009, we can offer you a monthly license fee of only $8.95. Even better, if you sign up for the yearly payment plan the price is only $89.50 per year. Better news yet: these prices are guaranteed for the remainder of your life – no need to worry about future license fee increases!

If you have any questions regarding Life Spiral Foundation, Inc. and our business policies, please visit our web site.

We would like to take this opportunity to emphasize that rumors being circulated regarding our use of “the mob” to perform collection services are totally untrue. Life Spiral Foundation, Inc. and its collection agencies use only legitimate and legal policies to enforce lawful use of our intellectual property rights.

As specified in our “Terms of use”, you can terminate your licensed use of our patented and copyrighted DNA chromosome sequences at any time. Please send a notarized termination document (death certificate) to our mailing address by registered mail.

Thank you for being a licensee of Life Spiral Foundation, Inc. We appreciate your business.


Seymore Moolah,

One Response to “Dear Valued Licensee”

  1. First posted Sept. 23, 2009.

    I wonder if this guy Seymore Moolah is related to the chap who makes porn movies, Seymore Butts…

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