James Inhofe Rides Again


Leaked transcript of U.S. Senator James Inhofe’s upcoming speech to the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen:


Ladies and Gentlemen, I have good news and I have bad news.

The good news is that you can all relax regarding this so-called climate change nonsense. It’s not going to happen. God has told me that it’s all just a socialist hoax. So my suggestion is that you just cancel the rest of this conference and all go home again. Besides, it’s way too cold here in Denmark in December – whose bright idea was it to organize a global warming conference in the winter in Denmark, anyway?

But I also have bad news. Very bad news. It’s about those stupid wind turbines, or windmills, or whatever you want to call them.

Do you people realize what you’re doing? Don’t you understand the danger? Well, let me tell you. God talked to me in a dream, and He made me realize the incredible peril involved in the erection of all those ugly windmills.

Putting up all those thousands and thousands of windmills increases the Earth’s surface drag! You people are responsible for the slowing of the Earth’s rotation! Now don’t laugh, it is a known fact – it’s on Wikipedia: “… Earth’s solar day is now slightly longer than it was during the 19th century …”

It’s all those windmills that are slowing the Earth’s rotation, and the more you build of them the worse it will get! Days and nights will get longer and longer. And there’s a tipping point, a point of no return! I don’t know exactly how close we are to it, but beware: If you slow the Earth down too much, you’ll cause it to spin down and stop! Just like a child’s top, once it stops spinning fast enough to keep spinning it just slows down and stops dead!

That’s the bad news, the real bad news about “climate change”. So I beg you all, stop this crazy idea of putting up more and more windmills. God gave us oil, so all we have to do is drill and pump it up and use it. The alternative is much too dangerous.

In conclusion, I’ll just mention that God did have one slightly positive message when He told me about the possibility of the Earth’s rotation running down. He promised me that if it did happen, that when the Earth stopped rotating, that it would stop such that the USA would be on the sunny side. OK, I guess that’s not so positive for those of you living in Europe or Africa or Asia, cause it’s going to be pretty dark and cold where you are. But let’s face it, it’s mostly been you people who have pushed this “global warming” hoax, so it’s only fair.

Thank you for your time.


In other news, when a reporter asked Senator Inhofe if it was true that his family was descended from the famous Spaniard Don Quixote, he was silent for a long moment, and then replied, “No comment”.

One Response to “James Inhofe Rides Again”

  1. First posted Sept. 25, 2009.

    Senator Inhofe actually did travel to Copenhagen and tried to hold a press conference or something.

    “Another reporter — this one from Der Spiegel — told the senator: ‘You’re ridiculous.’ “

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